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Total Divas ep. 614: Dove and marriage

She wanted to be The Bride, not part of the crew on a John Woo movie

Previously on this show: Eva Marie was told to not do her job, as part of her job. Brie froze her ovaries.

Starting on the red carpet tonight? Cool. Let’s interview John Cena and The Bella Tw...whooops! Never mind, let’s start the episode in Bulgaria! We’re in Bulgaria because Lana and Rusev need a second wedding. You see, Lana got her wedding in Malibu, so this one is for Rusev and his family. She even says this right before pouting about his family’s traditions, and how she “doesn’t like them.” Rusev tells her to go marry a Greek guy which I guess is an insult, but it’s mostly just an inconvenience for Lana. She would have to get a divorce since she’s already married to Rusev, then she’d have to find a Greek guy, not to mention one that is totally down for spite-marriages; plan THAT wedding and HAVE that wedding...it’s a lot of work. Or she could just, you know, let Rusev’s family have their traditions and enjoy the free vacation to Eastern Europe.

So she goes to a church for one of the traditions. This one seems cool since it involves pretending to spit and put a cigarette out with your foot. Also, there’s a dude with a Devilock in the background, and I wanna know that guy’s story. Forget Total Bellas; I want a spinoff called “Total That Devilock Guy.”

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