Vince McMahon has left the building
The biggest swan song in the professional wrestling world just happened. Vince McMahon is retiring as CEO of WWE. It's official. Hell freezes over.
With his 77th birthday coming up next month, Vince McMahon has decided that he has finally played his last gig. And it appears no one is holding their lighters in the air. Apparently, there's no sympathy for the devil.
We all know Vince's story by now. This voodoo child took his father's company on his shoulders and carried it all the way to the spirit in the sky. Just like the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, he took WWE so high that it could kiss the Man on the Moon.
He swore that he just wanted to see us all standing in his Purple Reigns.
Vince McMahon broke a lot of records. And not always in a good way
Now the curtain is closing on the Chairman. The final song has been played and there doesn't appear to be an encore performance. However? Along the way, he was able to remind us in a subtle way that Life is a Highway, and we have to ride it all night long. All you had to do was hop on board his Yellow Submarine.
In many ways, Vince was a rockstar of epic proportions. Anyone who doubts that only needs to rewind to his entrance at WrestleMania earlier this year. Listen to how the people roared like a lion, sleeping in the jungle that night. You would have thought Jim Morrison himself finally crawled out of that bathtub and broke on through to the other side.
Fast forward to today, and much like how we found out that Elvis died on the toilet, we learned that the king is dead. Toppled by his own fire and desire.
At 77, time for me to retire.
Thank you, WWE Universe.
Then. Now. Forever. Together. #WWE #thankful
This tune should have a happy ending, but it doesn't. Perhaps that's fitting here, because sad songs say so much.
Vince McMahon's soundtrack of success made him the man that he became. He stood proudly in front of the orchestra he assembled. Like any good conductor, he brought out the best in his musicians. But somewhere along the way? He got Rick Rolled.
get Rick rolled in 4K quality https://t.co/01U6QsxVdF
He has now taken his final bow. Fittingly enough? He did it in front of thousands of adoring fans... like any good, decent and decrepit rockstar should.
It's almost like a lesson in ourselves, really. Vince McMahon was the one guy who could stand in front of us, eat it and smile, then ask us who let the dogs out?
We all barked back loudly with our response. We bought his tickets, his t-shirts and his overall vision. Then? We bounced beach balls around in his audience like we were all in Margaritaville.
Because when the long and winding road finally comes to an end, we all want to believe in something, even if we know it's fake.
And girl? You know it's true.