WWE SummerSlam 2016: 5 hopeful bookings for the pay-per-view

Let’s play “guess the good guy”

SummerSlam, man. My favorite WWE event of the year, besides placing bets on whether or not Kofi Kingston will pull off his increasingly insane Rumble spot. I owe my friend ENX like 60 bucks right now. I know Wrestlemania is “the big important one,” but often times it’s a little too flashy for me. Battle Royals are my favorite type of match so I’m partial to Royal Rumble but there’s something about August that seems to bring out the insanity of all the performers.

Brock Lesnar manhandled John Cena into the mat with a Suplexnado, Daniel Bryan kicked Cena into oblivion, the Tables, Ladders, & Chairs match debuted there, and The Mean Street Posse have shown up once or twice (pretty sure it was once). I love it. And it’s in my backyard again this year.

#1 Rusev (C) vs Roman Reigns (US Championship match)

It’s been said a million times already, by smarter fans than myself, but Rusev is unequivocally the good guy here. Roman is a jerk who hates love and insults women and he thinks that alone gives him the right to a title shot. Listen, I don’t care if you like Reigns or not, that’s not the point.

He’s not even really the bad guy, just an entitled handsome prince. No, the bad guy in this is FREAKING MICK FOLEY! Probably the most beloved living legend in the business, is giving him ANOTHER shot at gold because Rusev is...foreign i guess? I don’t know, the less I dwell on this match, the better. I feel for Rusev. I do.

He just wants to celebrate his love and share his wedding pictures, so when Roman gets all John Hughes High School Jockish on him he has no problem defending Lana’s honor. But MY FRIEND MICK FOLEY (what the heck, Mick?) is punishing him by making him put up his title against a guy who deserves it because...please someone tell me. Seriously. I have no idea. So the Bulgarian Brute HAS to win, for heart emojis everywhere.